My iPhone tells me I’ve walked 11.72 km in the last two days.  Outlet shopping and a visit to Storyland is great exercise apparently.  Our family is kicking off summer vacation with a road trip to our denomination’s annual convention in Montreal with a three night stopover in the White Mountains of New Hampshire.  

It has been four years since our family last visited Storyland, one of our happiest places on earth!  We were on our way home from convention that time (which also happened to be in Montreal that year).  We had three little girls (ages 2, 4, and 6), and I was pregnant with our fourth child.  I had excitedly shared our news with friends at convention; I was overjoyed with that pregnancy since it had come directly on the heels of our first miscarriage on Mother’s Day just a couple months previous.  That day at Storyland in 2012 I was beyond exhausted and assumed it was just first trimester tiredness.  I remember actually sleeping on a shaded bench while the girls enjoyed the rides with Daddy and Grandma and Grandpa.  Little did I know that that evening back at our rented condo I would see the first telltale signs of a second miscarriage.  I don’t think I have ever experienced exhaustion quite like I did over the course of the next few days as my body prepared for the inevitable.  

Today I had a few moments on that very same bench.  While the girls and Daddy were getting drenched on the “Splash Battle” ride, my Little Mister and I were resting in the shade of that same gazebo where I took refuge four years ago.  It was only for a few minutes, but as I peeled apple slices for my toddler son today I breathed a prayer of thanks.  Thanks for this precious boy that would not likely exist had it not been for those miscarriages.  Thanks for the way God has of taking painful memories and turning them to bittersweet, if not somehow beautiful, in His time.  Those few moments where I felt as if I’d come “full circle” were so healing today, and I am leaving this beautiful place tomorrow with a part of my heart put back together that I didn’t even realize was still broken.

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